McCraziness and A CONTEST!

After my doctor appointment yesterday, we took the girlies to McFastfood so they could have ice cream and play.

I've been a little leary of the McPlayland ever since our horrifying bout with headlice, but they've been there a couple times since with no repurcussions (not to mention that they were there like, a thousand times BEFORE they ever had any problems).

I wasn't feeling too swift, so I remained firmly in my hard red and yellow chair, nursing my cup of Newman's Own coffee, but Mulletman swung his tall, lanky frame up into the play tower. As he was climbing up the steps he found himself face to face with a three year-old cutie named Logan.

Mm smiled, "Well hello there little person!"

Little person beamed with his whole body and shouted, "I'M WOGAN! AND I'M CWIMBIN'!!!!!"

Apparently, the last time "Wogan" had been to the playland, he'd needed his Papa's help to climb up into the tower, but now he'd mastered the art of DOING IT ALL BY HIMSELF!

While I was chatting with Logan's grandparents I felt a weird warmth come over me. Suddenly my telepathic powers swelled and I became what I have always dreamed of becoming - a powerful space alien! On the planet Argonia, I was given the choice commission of coming to Earth undercover as a simple stay-at-home mom in Maine. Once I established myself here in the community, my assignment was to kidnap a variety of humans and bring them back to the Argonian council.

Right there, in that nasty, lice-infested (probably) Mcfastfood play area, I knew the time had come; No more pretending! I spotted a tall, lean man with long curly hair darting about in the upper reaches of McFortress. Clearly he was trying to hide from me. However, his feeble attempts to escape detection were no match for my Argonian perceptions.

I followed his movements with my mighty mind until he emerged near the McCar. There I pointed my finger at him and ZAP, a direct hit! A look of stunned surprise encompassed his face as he fell to the mat yelling out something about "a deathray". Foolish human, I only use the deathray for obnoxious salespeople! No, this was my mind command laser. The McMulletman was now in my complete control. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

I forced him to expose his two stealthy, feminine McCohorts. They moved so quickly and stealthily on their own, that it was difficult for me to target them without assistance. I had the McMulletman bring them, one by one, into the open area and distract them by tickling them. My planned worked! I was able to strike with no resistance on their part.

I commanded them to come down, all the while maintaining my cool front with Logan's family. Coats on, shoes on - they obeyed me cheerfully. It looked just like one of those mom-is-tired-of-McFastfood-and-is-ready-to-leave scenarios. No one suspected a thing! I needed to get them out of the McFastfood and into my Mercury before the kitchen microwaves disrupted my superior control. At my bidding, the prisoners left the building and climbed into the vehicle, totally clueless to their fate.

I secured them into the vehicle with my Manacles of doom. Now there was no escape!

I obliged them to drive me back to earth base. There they slaved for me, cleaning bathrooms until I called them into the torture chamber and forced them all to eat the tasty meal I had prepared. Two bites of my cleverly disguised Buffet Chicken Casserole and they all realized the truth: I was indeed trying to kill them.

One by one they wilted at the table, and I was able to transport to Argonia to be my slaves forever.

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I am not having a contest. This is because I have nothing that I want to give away right now, except maybe some leftover (LOTS of leftover) Buffet Chicken Casserole. Instead, I shall point you toward this mixer giveaway:

A Cowboy’s Wife is having a contest on her food blog! You can win aHamilton Beach® 4.5-qt. Eclectrics Stand Mixer and she’ll ship anywhere so everyone is eligible!

The Prize:


The winner will receive a brand new Hamilton Beach® 4.5-qt. Eclectrics Stand Mixer, Pineapple Yellow!!

About the mixer:

From Hamilton Beach’s “Eclectrics” line, this all-metal stand mixer comes with a host of accessories - a Flat Beater for cakes and cookies, a Dough Hook for bread and a Wire Whisk for whipped cream or pudding. The 4.5-qt. stainless steel bowl comes with a Pouring Shield that helps prevent splattering while in operation. The pouring shield has a built-in chute for adding ingredients. Powered by 400 watts, the stand mixer has a two-way mixing action to ensure all ingredients are incorporated into the mix. The quick-release, tilt-up head assists when removing the bowl. 9 x 14 x 14-in. When you’re ready for a kitchen re-do, don’t call in the carpenters! Instead, “counterscape” your kitchen with Hamilton Beach’s retro-designed, affordably priced electrics in happy, sun-saturated colors. Their “Eclectrics” line includes updates to those classic appliances from the 1950s. All of their “Eclectrics” are available in six colors: Apple Green, Moroccan Red, Pineapple Yellow, Intrigue Blue, Sugar White and Licorice Black.

Orts and Scraps (Which are Basically the Same Thing)

Hiho my Internet friendlies.

Mom is coming over today. She's going to take her first stint at babysitting the girlies while I get my teeth cleaned, then, after lunch we're going to run some errands. She still doesn't know her way around town very well, so we're going to add the third major road (There ARE only three) to her repertoire. I'm also going shoe hunting for the girlies. Their current dress shoes look like they've been dug out of a rock quarry.

I'm sure all this will be fun, but it also means we'll be forgoing school. Again.

I would make up the time on Saturday, but I'll be too busy singing with and enjoying the ministry of Cherie Adams on that day. I may EVEN be going to a Newsboys concert that night if Mulletman can get the day off work...

That would make for one very long, but extremely satisfying day!

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Fall has finally arrived in Maine. After an amazingly long season of warmth, we went below freezing last night. There's even an itty-bitty chance that we might have snow flurries tonight!

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In case you haven't noticed (and how could you not?), Groovy is going political on you. I am a staunch and loyal supporter of Mike Huckabee - and NOT just because he has a fun name. :-) More than any other candidate, Huckabee espouses the conservative values that I and my husband treasure. Sooooooooo...

If ya ask me
YOU oughta be
for Huckabee
TOO!

(This ends Groovy's political push for today.)

WARNING Any attempts to engage Groovy in deep and philisophical political discussions or debate as to the suitability or insuitability of Mr. Huckabee for the office of President will be totally frustrated by Groovy's inimitable good cheer and her complete inability to reason and argue with clarity. In other words, Groovy ain't debating with you, so go flame somewhere else!

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The Groovy family has finally and officially been declared LICE FREE!!!!! Whoo-hoo!!!!

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I LOVE this pic of The J-Man and Funsocksgirl. I even had it blown up into an 8X10 and have it hanging by my desk. Aren't they a lovely couple?



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I've got many elements of my plot and several of my characters for NaNoWri Mo loosely mapped out in my brain. ( that seems to be how most things are mapped out in my brain!)

Unfortunately, I am going to go into this novel writing venture with four major handicaps:

1.) Mulletman. He is a very dogmatic, black&white fellow who sees no use for fiction. He tolerates my occasional forays into short writing contests, but I sincerely doubt he will be thrilled to have me type on and on for an entire month on "escapist drivel with no redeeming value" that, additionally, isn't likely to net me any money. That is the view of my man who, ironically, LOVES John Grisham novels!

Translation? I'll have to write when the man ain't home!

2.) My Mom, aka Gramma JMC. Bless her heart. She's here. She's lonely. She doesn't know her way around very well. Her hands don't work well, so she needs help doing "stuff" around the apartment. I'm going to have to write around her...

3.) Tendonitis. The ole right hand/wrist/ forearm is REALLY gonna pay for 50,000 words!

4.) My legendary inability to end a story...That's right, folks. Wrapping up loose ends is not my strong suit!

Why, just the other day.....

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Crawling Out From Under...

OK, I'm still feeling pretty whipped, but I figured I'd better post today or ya'll will think I died under my rock.

Lesse...Why don't we start with...

The Stressers

1. lice, Lice, LICE. We've made tremendous progress. Our extremely thorough nitpicking is now netting only 1 or 2 nits a day on the girls, none on me, and only 1 or 2 on Mulletman. Nonetheless, my head itches constantly and I am on the verge of total paranoia. A simple piece of lint is enough to make me run for the mayonaise and the tea-tree oil! It is absolutely unbelievable how all consuming an infestation can be. As you read the following, keep in mind that through ALL of this I was nit picking my own hair twice a day and worrying whether MM was doing his own head as he traveled and whether Grammy was doing a good enough job on the girls' heads.

2. Scout is gone now - all alone in his new world at Ft. Hood. He and Mm had a good trip together, but we still worry about him. We're praying for him to be wise financially, to work things out one way or another with his wife and children, and for God to raise up Godly men and/or families to take him under their wings.

3. The Big Move. I never, EVER want to do that again!

First was (were?) all the semantics of where Mom would live - I had to find her an apartment. Could she afford it? Would she like the one I picked? Was the landlord reliable? Was the neighborhood safe?

I found an apartment and went in the day before I was flying out to clean it up a bit and put in some housewarming gifts. I ended up working there for over 6 hours and finding SEVERAL things wrong with the place. It was so much dirtier than it had appeared at first and many things were not working properly. I was SO upset!

Then there was some marital discord as Mulletman struggled with being "tied down" even more than before (He REALLY wants to sell our house and go somewhere and DO something...but now his folks AND my mom are here and all of them need assistance.)

Then there were the ever changing plans: Who was flying where and driving where and doing what with whom and when and how and no, let's reaarange it all and pay more money for tickets and...ugh!

Four different men volunteered to help my mom load her truck. Only one showed up and that was after it was 95% done. Notcon4med, JessieU and I did ALL the loading. The next morning there were still quite a few odds and ends to clean and pack up, so Mom and I didn't even get on the road until noon. We had a fully loaded 16' truck and a full trailer with a van on it.

The kitties were so upset and stressed that they were hyperventilating and foaming at the mouth. Naturally this had a rather negative effect on us as well!

We only managed 5 hours the first day because there were SO many hills. The truck could only go 40-45 mph up the hills and we had to brake alot going down the hills so the trailer didn't go caty-wampus on us. We ate supper at the coveted Cracker Barrel, but both of us had upset stomachs and couldn't really enjoy our food.

We stayed that first night at a very mediocre Days Inn. We SNUCK the kitties in and then neither of us could sleep because we felt so guilty and because we still had so far to go and because we were so strung out and because the cats were stressed and kept fighting with one another.

We woke up after our fitful night and I had a complete meltdown. I had been trying so hard to be strong for my mom, but I was at the end of my reserves. I cried and cried and cried and cried!

After lots of hugs and reassurances, we smuggled the cats back out to the car (they were riding in their carriers in the back of the van) and went back in for the hot breakfast buffet waiting for us in the hotel restaurant.

It. was. awful.

Lumpy, lukewarm grits, hard biscuits, cold eggy casseroles, greasy potato whatever-it-was. The only edible food was the mixed fruit - and that was all canned! All this bounty was ours - all we could choke down -for only $9.95 EACH!!

Mom drove the whole second day. Our plan was to get past Hartford so we'd be past cities and traffic jams before we got another hotel. We decided to let the kitties be and just get as far as we could before dark. (They only seemed to get more upset when we went back to check on them, and they wouldn't eat or drink or use the litter box. They just hissed and growled and cried.) It was a great plan.

Unfortunately, Nothing ever goes as planned!.

We were right on target and looking forward to finding a hotel in the next 30 minutes. My mom had been driving the whole day and she was doing great. Then we hit the traffic-jam-from-Hell between Danbury and Waterbury, CT.

3 hours on a Sunday evening of either barely moving or sitting completely still. Mom and I were both already exhausted, but we worked hard to encourage each other. We sang songs, we prayed together, we told jokes. We prayed again in case it was an accident - that God would minister to all those involved.

Finally, around 9:30 at night things started moving again. We tried one exit that promised a hotel. Nothing.

We tried the next exit and after more stress and difficulty than I could ever manage to relate (picture an overwhelmed, exhausted old lady with cataracts driving 15 mph up and down poorly lit roads with steep hills searching, searching, searching...), we finally ended up at an extremely nice Microtel around 11pm. This time Mom was up front about the cats and we got a great price and the FREE continental breakfast was among the best I've ever had.

We had both been extremely worried about the cats. They'd been in the back of the car without food, water, or a litter pan for 16 hours! I actually had visions of opening the back and finding one or both of them dead. But they were both just fine. In fact they seemed happy as could be! They explored and played and ate and drank and didn't fight at all. Mom and I just collapsed.

In the morning, Mom had a meltdown. She cried and cried and cried and cried. Now it was my turn to hug and reassure her!

We didn't get out until after 9am. We needed the extra rest and we figured there was no use in leaving until rush hour was past. We found out that one person had died and that two people were in critical condition from the horrific accident that had caused the traffic jam...

Now we were in MY territory, so I drove. The hills weren't as severe, so I picked up the pace and in some places I actually went the speed limit! While pulling a trailer! With crosswinds! While my mom held onto the truck dashboard with white knuckles!

I didn't want to stop at all. I just wanted to GET TO MAINE!! I could smell the pine trees, but Mom wanted to stop somewhere to eat. We had a lovely meal at Ninety-Nine's -although I couldn't eat much of it and then pressed on.

We finally made it into Mom's new town around 5:30pm. We unloaded just enough stuff so that she and the kitties could sleep and have some food and then headed over to my house.

Now we faced an interesting conundrum; Where could we park the truck and trailer? I had the brilliant idea to drive it across my lawn and then pull it facing outward in my driveway.

Nothing ever goes as planned!

It had rained quite a bit while I was gone and the truck sank in the mud in the yard.

We. were. stuck.

OooooooKaaaaaay.

Fine.

I can deal with this.

The van is heavy. If I just unload the van from the trailer, then the truck will rally and work its way out of the mud and everything will be dandy. After all, how hard could it be? I had watched the guy hook it up and load it...

Nothing ever goes as planned!

It was dark, I was beyond exhausted and I forgot one very necessary step for unloading the car ie. Jacking up the front of the trailer. Sooooooo, I got the car body STUCK on the frame of the trailer.

I cried and cried and cried and cried.

Then I called Mr. Tom, our very good friend and asked him to HELP ME PLEASE! because Mulletman wasn't back from his trip to Texas yet and I was a damsel in distress. Mr. Tom said he'd come frist thing in the morning.

In the meantime I took Mom back to her apartment and dumped her dropped her off. The I spent a sleepless night worrying about lice and really big tow trucks and ruining my mom's van and the fact that no one - not one single person - had contacted me to say they'd help unload the truck etc., etc., etc.

Mr. Tom was here before sunrise. I could see his flashlight bobbing in the front yard and I could here him laughing out loud.

Jerk.

He jacked up the trailer, unloaded the car (which, Praise God, was not damaged at all), and coached me as I rocked the truck out of the mud and up onto the driveway. We had it all taken care of in less than 15 minutes.

NICE jerk!

Then I put out a whiny, tearful plea on our church's prayer chain and within 2 hours time I had eight volunteers ready to meet us at Mom's at 3pm to unload. Mulletman returned from his visit to the holy land (ie. Texas) and helped too. I kissed him everytime he got to the top of the stairs :-) Those sweet folks had the truck completely empty in less than an hour!

My sweet friend, Dawna (http://blue-mysterious-crayon.blogspot.com/) brought my mom a sweet little welcome basket full of fruit and chocolate. She's expecting a new little bambino soon, so instead of hauling boxes, she stayed upstairs and chatted with Mom and put shelf paper on the shelves. Then, once the truck was empty, her husband, Matthew, "borrowed" the truck and came back with a surprise for my mom; A new bed! Mom's been sleeping on an air matress on the floor. The matress is comfy, but the floor is a tough place for someone who isn't as limber as she used to be. He carried all the pieces in and assembled the bed. We were especially touched when we learned that the bed had been Matt's late mother's.

Mom cried and cried and cried and cried!

After all the work and insanity, Matt and Dawna had all of us over to their house (just around the block!) for homemade pizza. It was a nice end to a rough trip and a tough day.

Now we're on the downside of all the stress. Mom's place is still a mess, but it's beginning to shape up and she's beginning to unwind a little.

Scout has been safely delivered to his new post and the lice are almost comletely irradicated.

We'll start school again on Monday...

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Speaking of Monday, check back then for my post: The Effects of Stress and the Blessings of God where I will wind up this tale of extreme insanity. Maybe by then I'll even be funny again...

Monday's Munchies

Ha! You thought I was going to post recipes, didn't you?

Fooled ya!

Actually, I just REALLY need to focus on all the ways that God has blessed me so that I don't lose my mind right now. So maybe you'll join me in chewing on some of the GOOD things in my life right now.

But first, the ever entertaining LICE REPORT with your hostess, Groovy-old-itchy-and-paranoid-lady (it's an old, but honored Indian Native American name):

Groovy and Silly-Head are making progress in the war against bugdom. Groovy is almost completely nit-free and Silly-Head's ugly count is diminishing daily.

UNfortunately, the Groovies just discovered two big ugly live lice on Girly-Girl last night. Late. So we treated her head and nit combed. Still only two critters and no nits, so hopefully it was caught before the beasts were able to carry out their nefarious schemes on her pretty little head.

Then Mulletman of the VERY long, VERY Thick and VERY curly (as in beautiful ringlets) hair got a wee bit nervous, so Groovy checked his head. He has excema, so it was hard to tell if he had nits, or if he had dandruff. He decided to use the lice treament "just in case". Groovy combed three nits out of his hair and then ran for the scissors. Mm just got a substantial haircut! It was down to the middle of his back, but now it is shoulder length. Groovy was tempted to shave it all off, but she has seen Mulletman's head before, years ago, when he joined the Air Force. It was not a pretty sight!

Mm's head was finally declared "done" around 10 pm last night.

And so, field trip plans for the day have been cancelled so the Groovies can vacuum and wash and nit-pick all day.



In the Little House on the Prarie books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, Ma had a little saying that she used whenever tragedy struck; "There is no great loss without some small gain." That saying has made a tremendous impact on me.

Accordingly, here are some of the blessing that God has been bringing to my mind:

1. All the stress (lice wars, mom's move, Scout's "issues") have given me a real jump start on weight loss. Even though I joke about turning to chocolate, my stomach has been, in truth, too upset to eat much at all.

2. I have not been constipated. (Stop laughing. If you had crazy, lazy bowels like mine, you'd count that a blessing too!)

3. My house is REALLY clean!

4. We get to share so much quality family time together while we're picking nits.

5. None of us have cancer, MS, heart disease, rickets, bird flu, diabetes, zits, or brain injuries.

6. God still loves me and is in control, even when I feel like things are out of control.

7. I still have my voice and can sing His praises.

8. It's raining this morning so they'll probably cancel the field trip anyway.

9. My girlies are VERY cooperative and helpful and sweet and adorable and wonderful and (sniff) I love them!

10. Mulletman has been terrific - and he has NOT been in a funk (trust me, that's a blessing and a half!)

11. Funsocksgirl is a treasure to me - my bestest friend in the whole world.

12. We found a nice apartment for my mom!

13. Mm doesn't give a hoot about all the ticket changing and money wasted. (See #10)

14. My blogging buddies keep making me laugh and occasionally tear up with their alternating "Eeeeew Gross!" and their sweet words of comfort and consolation.

15. None of this insanity has caused me to lose my internet connection.

16. I have great ideas for a Squidoo lens on Lice!

17. If they have to commit me to a nuthouse, it'll be fine, 'cause I like nuts.

18. I'm saving money on coffee because my mind is already on overdrive all the time.

19. Mm already has a prescription for Xanax, so we didn't have to see a doctor to get some.

20. We have heat and hot water and electricity and all manner of wonderful, much appreciated modern conveniences.

21. By God's grace, we can financially afford to deal with all the stuff we're dealing with.

(Look out, folks. Groovy is on a roll!)

22. The flowers Mm gave me are really pretty and cheerful! (I'd give you a photo here, but the camera is refusing to flash, which is another stressful issue that I'm not going to bring up right now because it might totally derail this whole thankful frame of mind...)

23. Tim Horton's just opened in town. Whee-Haw!!!!

24. My sneakers are amazingly comfortable.

25. I have my OWN washer and dryer and do not have to go to a stinking laundromat!

26. I bought this awesome laundry soap. It costs $19.25 a gallon - Wait, did you faint? I'll get the smelling salts! All better now? OK - Anyway, you only need to use an 1/8 of a cup and it genuinely gets our clothes clean. That means it only costs me 14¢ a load.

27. My keyboard is all happy and clean - no stains, no crumbs, no dust!

28. I have an answering machine, so I don't have to talk to anybody today unless I really want to!

29. The colors in the trees outside are spectacular right now!

30. On non-rainy mornings I get 10 minutes of the absolute coolest rainbows all over my kitchen. This only happens for a few weeks in fall and a few weeks in spring when the angle of the sun is just right for hitting the prism hanging in my window.

31. Both our cars are running.

32. My plane ticket is for Portland instead of Boston, so we won't have a 3 hour drive to get there.

33. There will be Krispy Kremes in South Carolina!

34. Mom and I should be able to eat at at least one Cracker Barrel on the drive north.

35. I won a romance book for FREE from Marianne!

36. I got a sweet award from Michelle. See????



I laughed right out loud when I saw the award because, folks, it's confession time...I hate Christmas. I hate the Santa, I hate all the fuss and stress and trappings and excess sweets and obligations (and my husband's anti-obligation stance), and singing carols at church instead of worship music (our Pastor is weird that way!) and all that trying to figure out what to get for who and...ugh!

In fact, my favorite holiday in the whole wide world is the week AFTER Christmas!

The only 2 things I truly enjoy about the holiday are watching the girlies open their gifts and having a valid excuse for viewing "It's a Wonderful Life" and "White Christmas".

Nonetheless, this precious award - which I truly appreciate receiving - is for people who talk about and show the spirit of Christmas in their blogs.

What is the Spirit of Christmas you ask?

Quite simply it is those that have a generous and giving nature. Those who care about others. Those who have a kind word to say or a broad shoulder to lean on in the times that others need that. Those who display the "Spirit of Christmas".....Those that have touched your heart with their kind and giving and caring nature.

I am truly humbled that Michelle feels that I fit this mold. Thank you Michelle!

And now, duty and obligation require that I pass this award on to 5 other deserving souls. Hmmmm. Whom shall they be?

Well the first one that comes to mind is Pea. Pea is the CONSUMMATE celebrater of holidays and I know I can count on her to keep me smiling when my scrooginess is trying to take over.

Then, it would have to go to notcon4med who has literally given me the shirt off her back (twice!) and who loves to serve God by serving others. Hmmm, but wait a minute. The award is supposed to be for her BLOG...OK, I'll have to disqualify her because she doesn't write often enough, but her LIFE definitely qualifies!

However, I CAN chooseJessieU, who, not coincidentally, is Notcon4med's daughter! Jessie has such a tender heart for ministering to the needs of others. Her blog clearly shows this and is always a joy to read!

Marianne gets the award because SHE GAVE ME A FREE BOOK! Besides that, she always has intriguing quotes on her site AND she's taught me volumes about fiction writing and publishing and the lifecycle of a butterfly.

I can't pass over Grandma Dawn. She has been such a support and blessing to me through some difficult moments. I 'm getting kinda teary just thinking about it! She's kinda like my internet Mommy (though she's young enough to be my sister!). I love you Dawn!

Lastly, I'd have to pick BooMama because she ALWAYS makes me laugh and she keeps me abreast of all the latest fashion developments so that I never need go to the grocery store looking like frumpy Jesus Freak. (Warning: She does occasionally ramble on and on about stupid college football, but then, everyone has their faults.)

I love all the rest of you, but I'm already pretty darned close to exhaustion and putting in links is a tedious process for this ever groovy, but never geeky ole gal. So, for the rest of you:

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

(Don't worry, you can't get lice over the the internet!)

Those of you who have won this illustrious Christmassy award of bloggity goodness can find the button code for your blog HERE. Now you generous souls can pass the joy on to others!

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EDIT (Because Groovy can't leave well enough alone!)
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I just read this on the Harvard U website and almost spit my coffee on my clean keyboard:

Washing the hair each day may dislodge a few active lice; the remaining lice and eggs will be unaffected (but clean).

Only One Word

Lice.


(Are you itching yet?)