A New, Revolutionary Exercise That Can Help Anyone - Even You - Burn Hundreds of Calories Every Single Day With Virtually No Perceived Effort!

...and you get to hear about HERE on Groovy's blog first.

So get out your pen and paper and prepare to be amazed.



Step One: (and this IS definitely the most important step): Find a treadmill. Your treadmill doesn't have to be state of the art, but it should be electric and have readouts for mileage, mph, and calories burned. Bonus points if it is located in your own home. Research indicates that this power burn I'm talking about is most easily achieved at home as opposed to a gym.

Step Two: Dress in some stylish workout gear. It's easier to sweat it out when you look snazzy. I wear my nifty, lined pink and black wind pants and a long-sleeved fuschia t-shirt with a matching bandana rakishly tied about my forehead. Women should be sure to wear a sport bra underneath to prevent uncomfortable bouncing.

Step Three: Set aside some time for your workout. Experts recommend between 20 minutes and an hour.

Step Four: March in place and gently swing your arms for a few moments to warm up.

Step Five: Now it's time to get started. Turn your treadmill on to the lowest setting and carefully start walking. As you get comfortable with the pace, turn up the speed a little bit.

Step Six: As soon as you start to sweat, step off the treadmill but - and here's the secret - leave it running. In fact, at this point, you can crank that baby up on HIGH and really let it rip...

Step Seven: Go to the restroom (if you're my age you will NEED to go to the restroom!), make a couple phone calls, check a couple of blogs.

Step Eight: Head back to the treadmill. Turn it back down to LOW and step on. Make sure you take at least five full minutes to walk at this slower pace to cool down.

Step Nine: Note the number of calories burned. It should be somewhere in the vicintiy of 2,000 calories, depending on how long you worked-out.

Step Ten: Go eat some chocolate. You deserve it after all that hard work!

That Daily Quandry

Hi Folks, This is not a real post. I am not going to say anything important or clever or witty. I'm just killing time while I wait oh-so-paitiently to find out who won a new header design from Big Mama for their Fashion Fiesta entry.

Clearly Groovy's pink, yet bland blog could use some help...

I need to workout today. Really, I do. But I gotta go pick up GrammaJ around 8am and I don't have enough oomph to exercise right now - I'm a late oompher. I'll feel guilty exercising while she's here.

"Oh hi Mom, have some tea. I'm leaving you now for a very long run/walk/bike ride! You can just stare at a wall while I'm gone."

As soon as we take her home we'll be off to 4-H and Goat Heaven where the girlies will pick their new babies to lease for the year and we will all wade in hip deep mud (ah, spring in Maine on the farm!) and drink coffee and eat junk food and hold goat kids and trim hoofs and talk non-stop until past supper time.

Exercising after supper does NOT sound appealing; I'll be tired after all that mud wallering.

Hmmm. OK. sigh. I guess I'd better buck up (whatever that means) and go sweat it out now.

In the meantime, if Big Mama stops by, put in a good word for me!

Meaningful *cough* Meanderings and a Christmas Plug

Edit

Hey! You can "Deck Your Blog" too and maybe even win some prizes...Just click the button in my sidebar.

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Overheard from the playroom yesterday: "My teacher says that I can start learning cursive now; THAT's how good I am at arithmetic!"

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I'm back to working out regularly. Yes, every other day for the last three weeks I've been walking/running on the treadmill and lifting weights. I would walk outside, but the cold air triggers my asthma almost immediately. This makes "aerobic" exercise distinctly ANaerobic!

Three weeks. That means it's about time for either a virus or an injury. Every stinking time I get determined and I get disciplined and I strike a rhythm and a schedule that works, everytime I finally get to that point that I actually begin to ENJOY exercising, SOMETHING happens to derail me.

Without fail.

Yesterday, I slipped on the ice. It scared me, but I seemed to be no worse for the accident. However, we were on the way to the church so Mulletman could drop me off to help decorate for Christmas. The lady in charge of decorating is lovely and she has marvelous taste, but running up and down the stairs to attic to fetch trees and decorations and then drag them down the very long aisle to the front of the church is a bit beyond her physical abilities. I was coming to be her work horse.

I sat absolutely still in the car, hardly daring to breathe. Was I hurt or not? My hand was stinging a little and my hip was the teeniest bit sore from colliding with the driveway, but otherwise I seemed to be OK. I remained motionless until we got to the church, then I got out and cautiously tested all my limbs. Amazingly, I felt fine. Hallelujah!

Accordingly, I worked my butt into some way smaller jeans by running up the stairs and down the stairs, to that end of the church, to this end of the church. (side note: Our church is monstro huge. It's a converted 6-plex movie theatre and going from point A to point B requires covering A LOT of ground!) I lifted heavy items, moved boxes, carried boxes, hauled trees, doled out ornaments, and scrounged up a snack for the both of us in the staff kitchen.

And I felt terrific the whole time. Hallelujah!

Then came today. I thought my thighs would hurt form 97 flights of stairs I climbed and descended, but my thighs are fine. My ankles and feet are not. Both of them (but especially the left one) are popping and cracking and hurting in a not-so-hallelujah way.

Sigh.

However, I am NOT going to stop working out. I'm just going to have to cut back. Even if I can only walk ten minutes I am going to keep on walking. So there!

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I'm in a skit for Christmas Sunday. I get to play a mentally challenged homeless person.



Why are you laughing? :-/

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Mulletman and I jammed with a coupla guys last Suunday to see if we could all jive together as a band. It was rough, but it is also quite possible. It would be Mulletman and Alan on guitars (MANY guitars!), Dean on bass, Mark on drums, and my groovy self on vocals. We really need to locate a male vocalist to add some harmonies and switch leads with me, but if God wants this all to gel, then He'll work it out in His timing.

Our main focus would be to play in the secular arena with evangelistic intent. This means I am trying to write some songs...

I'll let you know when/if it all comes together!

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One of the reasons I am so intent on getting into seriously good shape is so I can bike ride.

No, not outside in Maine in the Winter. (although Mm has done that already several times!)

A friend at church gave us his old tandem bike - you know, (sing with me now) a "bicycle built for two". Mm has overhauled it and we took it out on a test ride together. Now, Mulletman is not one of those highly competitive sorts, BUT he is athletic and he is in constant motion. It's kind of like living with a tornado who occasionally drops for a nap.

When I ride, even when I'm up to fairly long distances and reasonably challenging hills, I still take almost twice as long to finish the route as he does. In other words, I am leisurely athletic; Ride 30 miles, soak in the tub for an hour while reading, blog a little, cook supper. He is a the-sooner-I-get-there-the-sooner-I-can-get-busy-and-do-something-else sort of rider. You know, ride 30 miles, wash 3 cars, sweep the garage, paint the house, play with the girls, mow the yard, and go shopping for his wife (who is tired because she rode 30 MILES with HILLS!).

This style disparity has never really been an issue before on our separate bikes, but now he wants to ride TOGETHER. Our test ride left me sore and breathless even though we only went 1 mile with no hills - and Mulletman was "going easy" for my sake!

If we're going to do The Trek Across Maine together next June, I've got to lose these jiggles!

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Groovy's Christmas Plug aka "Marti Wants to Help You and Vise Versa"

All right folks, Christmas shall soon be upon us and YOU NEED TO BUY PRESENTS! Why fight the mall maniacs when you can shop online?

My friend, Marti Lawrence of Enter the Laughter has many unique gift ideas for you.

Is Aunt Myrtle an old sour pus? Buy her Marti's marvelous book, Queen Klutz. You can read my raving review of it HERE. Once you do, you'll see why Auntie Grouchy-Pants needs a copy! While you're at it, get some extra copies for Pickle-faced Cousin Pete and Carol Curmudgeonly at work.

You don't think comedy is the right tact to take? How about a mysterious paranormal drama? (insert a haunting instrumental here) Marti has also written River of Possibilities. Here's the intriguing summary:

Elizabeth Cunningham watched her parents applaud and smile as she graduated college. Two months later she watched their caskets being lowered into the ground. She is left to wonder - why had their new car plunged into a ravine? Why had her father recently updated his Will, adding a strange postscript that directed her to move to the city? The codicil includes a note saying she will, “find the truth”. Liz discovers nothing she was certain of is true. Her family was not the strong, loyal unit she thought she knew. Both of her best friends have been hiding things from her. Dirty politics, the CIA, and giant corporate interests could end her dreams and put her life and the lives of her friends and family in danger. Worst of all, her parents’ deaths may not have been an accident. Her beliefs will be assaulted when she has an encounter with a ghost, a mysterious Tarot reading, and discovers her father’s connections to the paranormal.

You can find both of these books at Marti's Lulu Store .

Oh I see, your friends and relatives aren''t readers. Well Marti has some other goodies too.

How about a t-shirt or notecards or an apron or a journal with a humorous saying on it? She has scads of items and dozens of giggle inspiring quotes for YOU at her CaféPress Store.

At this point I am sure you are completely in awe. You are thinking, "This is Marvelous! What Stupendous Selection! What Great Prices! What Amazing Quality!"

But Wait. THERE'S MORE!!! For every item you buy, Marti will throw in a free set of Ginsu's famous knives.

Stop.

Hold everything.

Did I just mention "Marti" and "throw" and "knives" in the same sentence? We're talking the serious Queen Klutz here. NO KNIVES FOR (or from) MARTI! (She might lose a finger or something!)

Instead, I will continue to dazzle you by informing you that she also has some absolutely gorgeous "Moon and Stars" Depression glass (Hmmm. It must be half empty) and some wonderful antique collectable car banks for sale at Grandma's Timeless Treasures .

So there ya go, folks - something for everyone on your shopping list.

You're welcome!

(NOTE: I am not receiving any kick-backs for these recommendations. Marti's going through some tough times right now and I love her and I want to help her out. You can feel the love too by going to her sites and giving her your money! And you'll be blessed with some great products in return.)

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OK. Weird. Uncle Pickle-Nose just called and left a message with a sweet and cheerful "Happy Birthday" to one or the other of us.

That's really nice of him, especially since none of us has a birthday now...

Bless his heart. I wonder if Marti has a day planner I can get him for Christmas!

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Ya know? I used to think I enjoyed editing.

I was wrong.

UGH!