16 March 2008

Oh Poo!

Alrighty. The Groovies are improving slowly and surely - just dealing with fatigue and residual coughing.

Residual Cough would be a great name for a rock band.

Mulletman went to church today, but the girlies and I stayed home because they are probably still contagious. I hope he doesn't have to use the "facilities" while he's there. Why? Because our Pastor emailed this important message out to the church body a couple of days ago:

We are having septic tank issues at the church building and have had to have the holding tank pumped out to the tune of $750 each time we do it. We just did this only 3 weeks ago or so and the tank is already half full with Good Friday and Easter around the bend…

We ARE already on top of solutions but the solutions can not really be implemented until Spring……………….

Might I suggest some practical things at the risk of sounding crass?

Go before you leave home.

Stop your water intake until after church

Apply the adage; “If it’s yellow leave it mellow; if it’s brown flush it down.”
(Sorry—but this is the reality of life in the trenches—I mean REALLY in the trenches…)

We don’t want to make our guests uncomfortable by announcing such things on Sunday morning nor do we want to prevent anyone from the “necessary” but, if we are mindful of the situation—the TEMPORARY situation—perhaps we can alleviate another back up and another pumping…

Yours in reality--PB
(PB = Pastor Bill)

Yep, you read that right; our church is in the midst of a septic crisis,

Please pray for us.

Actually, I am rather flummoxed that we HAVE a septic tank. Our church is on the main drag in the midst of a busy commercial area of town. We don't have town sewers? I mean, I understand a small rural church having a well and septic, but a "big city" (yes, I am using that term loosely) church with an attendance of 1,000+ people and a full time staff and tens of thousands of cars driving by daily?


Actually, our homeschool co-op used to meet in a little rural church just down the road from us. I taught highschool science there for a few years, but the last year that we met at that church, I taught a very fun class of 4-6 year-olds. We met in a little basement classroom and had a lovely time together reading and acting and crafting and imagining.

One day we studied fire safety. We reviewed what to do if there was a fire and even practiced by crawling under the imaginary smoke across the basement and out the door. The kids LOVED it. Ironically, that was day IT happened.

There was a strange looking circuit box in our room with an alarm light on it.

I wondered about it occasionally, but never bothered to ask anyone what it was for. The day of our fire safety drill, I suddenly found out. The kids and I were in the midst of a craft and suddenly a loud wailing siren blared in our room and the red light started to flash at us.

For a moment, we all stared at the light, hearts pounding with shock, then I sprang into rescue mode.

"Alright kiddos, let's head outside!"

We opened our door and stepped out into the basement only to find that all the other moms were still teaching and going on as if the trumpeting alarm was just a buzzing fly. No one seemed worried at all. Not. even. a little. bit.

I shooed the kids outside and told them to play tag and I'd be out in a minute. They all charged off happily and I hunted down a mom who was a member of the church.

"The alarm..." I stuttered, "Shouldn't we get everyone out of the building?"

"Oh that?" She smiled serenely, "That's just the septic alarm."

"The septic alarm? What the heck is a septic alarm?"

"Oh, it just means the system is backed up and we can't flush."

Oh Poo!


Dru said...

wow, I've never heard of a septic alarm.

I love that "Residual Cough" and I would be a member. Our melody woud be the sound of coughs.

Glad that your family is feeling better.

Hope you have a good Sunday.

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Yep, that is an oh Poo moment!

Susan said...

Too funny!!!

Anonymous said...

There is nothing like not being able to go to make you want to go. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Your septic tank is full with Easter around the corner? Maybe it's time for a sunrise service in the parking lot.

And a septic alarm! Now I've heard everything.

Sounds like a good day to stay home and recover from the flu, but I'm sorry you've been sick.

Damselfly said...

LOL! Hurry, everyone outside! No flushing! Maybe now might be a good time for your church to consider joining the city sewers...?

Hope y'all feel better.

Laurel said...

oh that's rough! what's worse is that you have THREE FEET of snow? oh my graciousness. we had a few days of 60 degree weather last week, which let my poor cabin-fevered-baby and i get out and enjoy ourselves!

anno said...

Residual cough...yeah, I like the sound of that. All three of us could join in, be back-up singers, or just offer an irregular percussive beat.

A septic alarm? The church where our co-op meets is in the country. For all I know, we could have a septic alarm, and I would be completely ignorant.

Here's hoping that snow melts & the Groovy Greats all recover quickly!

Karen said...

Hm, for Residual Cough you'd need "hack-up" singers, but for the Septic Blues, well, I guess "back-up" singers would work.

My parents have a septic system. Unfortunately, when my grandsire built the place, he didn't bother with silly things like plans, or telling anyone where the stupid tank is. The 'rents refuse to spend the cash to find out, so they are well-versed with the mellowing of the yellow, etc. (And they wonder why I insist upon staying in a hotel...where I can shower AND flush without worry!)

Dawn said...

I hope soon that you can let us know you're all well - including the septic tank! Yuck!

In Georgia last summer, because of the draught, they had people parked at the bathroom doors in the huge university football stadium to be sure people didn't flush too often. EWWWW!!!

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Unknown said...

Two Poo stories in one post! How lucky are we??? LOL
I have never in all my life heard of a septic alarm, therefore, this post has educated me.
The letter from your Pastor was sweet really, or cute? Hmmm I found it well written considering the subject "matter".