28 September 2007

The Big "E"

Lots to do today. Gotta buckle down and get my stuff done, just like This Guy.

Because tomorrow the girlies and I will be up BEFORE dawn so we can board one of These at 6am to make a 5 hour trip to Here. We will have 7 hours of unbridled fun and excitement (and mark off another school day - Woot!) and then reboard the amazing vehicle of comfort for the return to Maine. Projected arrival time at the ole homestead? Around 1am.

Best of all, the State of Maine University Cooperative Extension is paying for the bus, for our entrance to the Fair and for our lunch. They want to make sure we podunk Maine 4-Hers get a chance to see a REAL fair. Now THAT's what I call a field trip!


Welcome to today's edition of:

Groovy and Mr.Epson


Groovy: OK Mr. Epson, I need to get these forms copied and filled out for 4-H so I can mail them tomorrow.

Mr. Epson: I'm terribly sorry, Mrs. Groovy, but no can do. You are low on blue ink.

Groovy: I don't need any blue ink. The copies are black and white.

Mr. Epson: Oh well, it's against company policy, but I suppose I can eke out one page for you in black and white.

Groovy: I need EIGHT pages and I need them NOW!

Mr. Epson: Oh dear, now you've done it. You're completely OUT of blue ink. Tsk. Tsk!

Groovy: Whaddya mean I'm OUT of blue ink? I didn't even USE any blue ink! I just want these few little ole black and white copies so I can finish this paperwork and get them in the mail BEFORE THE STINKING DEADLINE!

Mr. Epson: Hey, it's not my fault you put this project off until the last minute....Oh look, now you're low on BLACK ink too!

Groovy: *(*^%#@$$&^%%(*&(*_)!!!!!!!!!! (Sorry, Lord!)

Mr. Epson: Oh look, Now you're completely OUT of black ink. HA!

Groovy: GRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

(Groovy goes to store and buys printer ink. She cries when she sees the price, but she's gotta do what she's gotta do. She runs several other errands and gets home too tired and frazzled to continue her project. She will rise early in the morning to get it all done.)


Groovy: OK, I've paid the bills and finished scrapbooking the photos for 4-H, now all I have to do is copy these forms and fill them out and we're good to go.

Mr. Epson: I will give you one measly black and white copy and no more. (blink, blink, blink)

Groovy: AAAaaaaack! What now????

Mr. Epson: Now you're OUT of yellow.

Groovy: I NEVER USED ANY YELLOW!!!!!!! And you're supposed to tell me the ink is LOW before you tell me it's OUT. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I NEEDN'T YELLOW YESTERDAY????????? AAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK! I HATE YOU!! ##^%$&^%^*&^(*&)(())(*)(&)*&%%# (Sorry, Lord.)

Mr. Epson: Heh-heh-heh! I'm not even going to mention the red...


(Groovy makes the run to Staples. Not only do the clerks there cheer her by singing and dancing to the tunes on the overhead speakers with her, but they vow to outdo Walmart by matching their prices. Serenades AND monetary savings; Groovy will be shopping there more often!

Relieved and happy, Groovy gets a partial refund on her blue cartridge and purchases both yellow AND red cartridges as well as a nifty envelope to mail the project in. She returns home feeling triumphant and prepared. Just let Mr. Epson TRY to get her goat this time. Groovy is ready for him!)

Groovy: There. Now I've replaced the yellow cartridge. Let's try printing that stupid black and white form again...

Mr. Epson: You should know the drill by now, Mrs. G. Only ONE black and white copy and then...heh-heh-heh...YOU NEED RED!

Groovy: Mr. Epson, I HAVE red...so THERE!


Anonymous said...



ooooh how we all identify with the evils of printers. for example, mine now requires me to print a test pages before printing what i want to, otherwise it just spits out blank pages. darn YOU, mr. dell...

Anonymous said...

I had a very similar disagreement with Mr. HP not long ago. He was very unhelpful and initiated a paper jam just to prove his point.

Unknown said...

My printer is being rebellious lately too! Its a conspiracy I tell you!

Have a fun and safe trip. Your girlies will always remember riding that big, comfy?? bus! I remember once taking a bus with my 4 year old son from Tampa, FL to Louisville, KY.

Tammy said...

Oh, we've had the same issues with Mr. Epson's cousin...but this was too funny! :)
(And loved the Mr. Procrastination link you sent us to!)

I'm so sorry I've been behind in replying...as you know, something about the school year starting that sort of slows us down in other areas! (Or in your case...traveling and school!)

Have a wonderful time at the Big E! :)

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Oh my dear brother is most disagreeable at time. Matters not if I have black ink and only need black ink, he will not print it! For shame is that anyway for a brother to act?

Damselfly said...

Hysterical! And how come I can't get office supply store workers to serenade me?

Julee Huy said...

I LOVE it when other stuff counts as school! Woo HOO!

The printer story... oh my gosh, it was so funny and only because WE"VE ALL BEEN THERE!

I just don't understand why it take so much color to print black!

Too Too Funny! :)

Dawn said...

I had the same issue with my brand new Mr. HP the other day, when all I needed was yellow (because Mr. Anakin had printed out a huge thing from the internet - I have since posted a sign on the printer that says, "No Printing Without Permission" - which of course only applies to the grandkiddoes). Anyway, what does being out of yellow have to do with printing only black???

Thanks for your comments on my teaching post. I sewed all the time, and we had to dress up all the time. And the hair!!! You should have heard my son's comment on that picture -

I'm sure your 4th grade teachers remember you - were you as crazy then as you are now??

Susan said...

Trust you & the girlies had a grand time!!! Glad you got that 1 copy!!

I will be praying for your son, too.