Fasten your seatbelts, folks. It's Ramble time!

WARNING: Readers of this post should be at least 48" tall and be in good health. If you are pregnant or have heart conditions, please check with your doctor before buckling into this ride. This ramble is subject to quick pacing and sudden twists and turns in subject matter. As always, please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle until the ride comes to a complete stop.



Let me start out by assuring you that "Free Food Makes You Fat". That's a chapter title in Blue Shoes and Happiness by Alexander McCall Smith. Another intriguing chapter title is "How to Deal With an Angry Ostrich", but I'm not going to ramble about that one. This is because I haven't really had any dealings with ostriches for a number of years, so I have no current stories to tell.

Anyhoo, Mr. Smith apparently knows what he is talking about, because folks, this has been a week just chock-FULL of free food. Have you ever tried to diet in the midst of free food? LOTS of free food? Impossible. Especially if the food is good!

First came Thursday. The girlies and I drove down to Old Orchard Beach (in a rip-roaring thunderstorm) to hang out and swim with our friends Rick and Tamara and fam who were visiting from Indiana.

Indiana? That's one of those of those states that makes me say, "You mean people actually live there? ON PURPOSE?"

You remember Rick and Tamara. They're the ones I rescued from the evil snakes of doom. Yeah, for some weird reason they left the beauty of Maine and moved to Indiana, but now they were back for a quick howdy-do. They were staying in a large, ritzy campground resort! a modest, rustic campground near the coast. Freedom began as soon as we got there and Rick insisted on paying our exhorbitant small "visitor's" fee so we could enter the premises and cavort with their family in the 497 4 swimming pools and 2 hot tubs.

But before we swam, FREE lunch! That's right, our generous friends fed us quite well from their larder. I had a lovely wrap and fresh strawberries and two chocolate chip cookies.

It was hazy outside, but the rain was holding off, so we drove the kids 18 miles the short distance to the pool so they could swim and play and Tam and I could talk 'til our lips got numb chat. Finally we decided to round everyone up and go out to an early supper. Rick and Tam were even kind enough to treat us! We loaded up the vans (6 children and 4 adults; Rick's Dad joined us) and drove (in a rip-roaring thunderstorm) to Ninety-Nine's for a sumptuous feast.

I ordered an oriental stir-fry with lots of veggies and some fabulous beef tips. This would have fit beautifully into my diet except that the platter of food they brought out for me would have fed, oh, either 3 skinny people OR 2 slightly pudgy folk OR 1 fat pig. Groovy was busy talking and reminiscing and otherwise having a good time, but she remained mindful of her waistline she devoured the fat pig portion. AND scarfed down a mini sundae AND a pack of M&Ms on the 2 hour drive home in a rip-roaring thunderstorm.

Friday? GrammaJ had missed us SO MUCH while we were away camping and visiting etc, etc. that she insisted on taking the girlies and I out to Ruby Tuesdays. There I had yummy chicken with portabella mushrooms and mashed potatoes and broccoli. and 1/2 of Girly-Girl's awesome dessert cookie.

Saturday? We were going to stay home and behave ourselves because this groovy homemaker was WAY behind on her, you know, homemaking, but then we got a sudden invitation to a garden gazebo tea party. My friend's granddaughter was here for the week and needed some friends to play with. That's right folks, it was a tea party emergency! They needed us!

We immediately freshened up and changed for some tea party fun:




Naturally a tea party means...FREE FOOD! There were cucumber sandwiches, chicken salad, strawberries dipped in chocolate, grapes, macaroons, chocolate chip cookies, orange scones, and itty-bitty cupcakes. Good stuff, that!

Sunday? Free donuts at church..although they ALWAYS have free donuts and those don't really tempt me, so I stuck to my apples and peanut butter.

Monday? Grampy decided that he and I needed to go out to lunch. And we MUST go somewhere where he could buy me (because he wuvs me) a BIG chocolate dessert. So we trekked over to Ruby Tuesdays. Yes, again! This time I only ate a small salad and 1/2 my serving of quiche, so I'd have room for the double chocolate cake and a scoop of vanilla ice cream that was the size of my head.

Today? Honey, I've still got quiche AND a tomato/mozerella salad AND baby green beans leftover from yesterday. My double chin and I are looking forward to it!

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I didn't feel well yesterday. Nothing I can put a finger on, just extremely sleepy. I slept well the night before, but I took an hour and a half nap in the afternoon. That's a big warning sign that I'm either sick or pregnant. (Stop it. I'm NOT pregnant. Not unless God has decided to perform an extra miracle in Maine this year.) I went to bed at 8pm and had a reall tough time getting up this morning. Now it's only 8am and I'm already contemplating another nap!

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The weather today is absolutely perfect. We've had days months on end of extremely high humidity and sporadic rain and clouds and then more humidity. You know, the sort of humidity where you swim from room A to room B. The sort of humidity where you have to wring the water out of your clean clothes before you put them on. The sort of humidity where you have to rinse your hair with vinegar so it won't mildew. The sort of humidity where your salt and spices go back to their natural states as ROCKS.

Yes, it was THAT humid!

But today is sunny and dryer and cool and...well, just lovely. It would be a wonderful day to work in the yard or go for a loooooong bike ride.

Maybe after a coupla naps...

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While we were in Old Orchard hanging by the pools, I found myself people watching. The main thought going through my mind: "That bathing suit? Eeeeeewwwww! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING????" I'm telling you, most folks would look better in these, than in what they were wearing! (And NOT just because of moral issues...)

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Aaaaack!!! The sun just went behind a cloud! NO! NO! NO!

COME BACK MR. SOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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We've been busy planning a big shindig for the folks. They'll be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary on August 21st. We're going to have a BBQ. What they don't know is that I covertly "borrowed" their address book and have sent invitations far and wide to the get-together.

Heh-heh-heh!

We seriously don't expect all the friends and family to make the trek to Maine, but hopefully there'll be a flood of cards and calls to bless their socks off. At the very least, Funsocksgirl and the J-man are coming (Whoo-hoo!) and perhaps some of the local gang. It should be a good time!

Then, in October they're planning a romantic trip to Niagra Falls...

All together now, "Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww."

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I think the hamsters are feeling a bit chilly (It's 61ºF). They just rearranged their cage so that all the shavings are in one giant mound right in the middle of the cage and they're curled up together underneath.

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They're still working on the property next door and the sound of heavy equipment ALL SUMMER LONG is getting rather wearisome.

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I still love my hair.

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Surprisingly, I haven't missed my microwave at all.

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I'm starting to feel hungry now...Time to dig out that free food!

(And time to get back to this losing weight thing...tomorrow!)