30 March 2010

I'm Feeling the Prednisone. Again. And...The Exciting GrammaJ in a Wheelchair Story You've all been Waiting For

...but didn't get 'til now because I've been too busy scratching to type.

Yep. My not so groovy allergies have struck again in the form of a nasty, widespread reaction to one teeny tiny spot of poison ivy on my arm. This is Day 10 of the itchy and oozing and benedryl 24/7 and Day 2 of the prednisone. If my writing is less than its usually mediocre self, I blame the frugs...um, drugs.

Thus far, my friends have brought me lasagne so I don't have to cook, jewelweed ice cubes so I don't have to itch, and taken my girls to piano lessons so I don't have to drive. YouTube has brought me a nearly endless supply of old Batman videos so I can laugh.

God has blessed me.

Now, onto my GrammaJ story:

Mulletman and I arrived at the airport a few minutes early to pick GrammaJ up from her 2 week vacation in South Carolina with friends. Her plane was right on time and within moments of our arrival the deplaned passengers began to descend the escalator. (Yes, the same escalator that Silly-Head and I ran up last time...)

No GrammaJ. (This seems to be becoming a theme with our airport pick-ups!)

But we weren't worried. We figured she wait 'til everyone else got off then sweet talk some mn into getting her bag out of the overhead compartment and helping her out.

Nope. No GrammaJ!

We were just starting to get that oh-no-here-we-go-again feeling when we heard a cheerful "Hiii-iii!!!!" And there she was in all her glory being pushed along in a wheelchair by a rather harried looking airport attendant. Her hair was coiffed and her smile was radiant. She was riding in style and she was loving it!

So, why was my generally mobile mother in a wheelchair? Well, let's go back to her friend Sweety's house. Sweety is a firm believer in shopping therapy. She and GrammaJ have had more than their fair share of stress the past three years, so they engaged in much "therapy" together as they visited. Said "therapy" resulted in WAAAAY more than could comfortably be crammed into GrammaJ's heretofore ample suitcase. So they shoved in all they could, sat on it and zipped it (with the help of some hefty vice grips!) Then they packed more into a fair sized box to mail home. THEN they packed her 2 carry-on bags to the hilts.

Yes, they did. The problem was, GrammaJ's carry-ons are CARRY-ons; They don't roll. And GrammaJ's carrying capacity is oh, about 5 pounds across the living room. And this story gets even heavier...See, she went to check her bag and it was 6 pounds overweight. She'd already paid $25 just for having a checked bag. Now the airline wanted her to fork over another $49 for the extra six pounds!

GrammaJ just smiled and said, "I just don't $49 to give you. So, let's see..." she started rummaging through her carry-ons, "You can have the lunch my dear, sweet friend made for me so I wouldn't starve on my flight and loooong layover. I have a FOUR HOUR layover injersey, you know." She laid her lunch on the counter. Then she pulled out her Bible, "I love my Bible - my kids got it for me and my name is etched on it and all, but it is very heavy..." She laid that on the counter too. "And..."

"Wait!" the clerk cried, "Let's see what we can do!"

She unzipped GrammaJ's bag and shifted things around a bit, finding items to take out of the big bag and jam them into the two smaller bags. She managed to get the checked bag down to an acceptable weight, but now GrammaJ's other two very heavy bags were just that much heavier. She grabbed her bags and started to go, but...

...She never even made it to the gate.

Her knee gave out (She had a severe knee injury about 15 years ago and it's not been right since) and a passer-by caught her just before she hit the floor. From there on out GrammaJ wants you all to know that AirTran treated her like royalty. They wheeled her everywhere she needed to go and carried her bags and kept her company and teased her and smiled at her and she loves them all and wants to bake them cookies and write to them on a regular basis. You should book all your flights with those wonderful people. And bring them cookies!

By all accounts she had a WONDERFUL vacation. Here she is hamming it up with Sweety:

And here she is with Honey at "the cabin":

Honey also took GrammaJ to the Biltmore House, which was so spectacularly wonderful that she INSISTS that Mulletman and I MUST GO THERE as soon as possible and we can stay at Honey's cabin and it's ALL ARRANGED and we'll love it, so GO!

(Well, if was that great, then why isn't GrammaJ smiling? Hmmmm?)

OK, that's all for now. My mind keeps wandering and my eyes feel like they're the size of basketballs. I think it's time for a nap and some jewelweed poultices and maybe some more Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na BATMAN!


anno said...

Oh, Groovy (glad I get to use your name here!), this is NOT the way to welcome spring. Hope the prednisone brings relief and that you're back to biking and baking and teaching biology and all your wonderful pursuits SOON! Good to hear from you!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about your itchies. I know what they're like and they're no fun. Hope you get some relief soon.

Sorry about Gramma J's knee but glad she had such a fun trip. That is a woman who knows how to shop!

Lauri said...

Sorry about your itching. Glad your mother was found and happy. Enjoy The Batman!!

notcon4med said...

I love Batman, and GrammaJ, and you! I hope you're over the itching soon!

Dawn said...

There's only one GrammaJ, of that I am certain. What a character she is!

I sure hope you stop itching soon!