05 March 2009

Paperwork With a Twist Accompanied by Some Shameless Begging

I love my mom. Truly I do.

She's had the flu and some eye problems the past couple of weeks, so she's put off filling out some paperwork for a new doctor she's going to see later this month. She's had 2 primary care physicians in the 16 months she's lived here. Each of them made decisions or acted in ways that broke her trust, so she's ditched them. We're hoping the third time will be the proverbial charm!

Anyhoo, she really wanted me to come over and help her fill out the papers because all those forms get confusing. So yesterday, I spent the afternoon with her. We decided I'd ask her the medical questions orally and then write down her answers for her.

It went something like this:

Groovy: Do you have any allergies to medications?

GrammaJ: Ibuprofen. They gave me that back in Florida and I went into anaphylactic shock. I almost died! That was the year I went to E.R. FIVE TIMES because of all those allergies. They said it was all those palm trees. But I'm also allergic to many other types of trees like weeping willows. I was SO sick that year; My face swelled up like a balloon! But then I moved to another state and things got much better

Groovy: OK...Ibuprofen. Any others?

GrammaJ: Any other what?

Groovy: Medications you're allergic to...

GrammaJ: Well of course there is. You know that! I'm allergic to that joint shot of whatever-it-was that Dr. T gave me. Remember? He told me all those horrible reactions I had were because of that shot. I am NEVER gonna let them do that to me again! But Dr. T was SO sweet about it. He even called me at home to check up on me. I just love Dr. T! You met him; Didn't you just love Dr. T? I wish Dr. T could be my primary care physician. Too bad he's he's just an orthopedic doctor. I TRUST him!

Groovy: How about if I say, "See attached". Then they can just look it up in your records.

GrammaJ: That'll be fine because I got all my records from Dr. Yuck and I have copies of them. I'm going to give them to this new doctor, but I'm not going to tell them Dr. Yuck's name. I certainly wouldn't want to slander her even though she was mean and hard-headed and dictatorial and made all sorts of assumptions and just wanted to give me pills. She was AWFUL! But I sure SOME of her patients like her, so I'd hate to get her into trouble. I already told this new clinic they can't have her name. Nobody can call me a snitch!

Groovy: OK...ummmmmm...next question: What herbs and vitamins and medications are you taking?

GrammaJ: Oh, I'm not allergic to those. looks thoughtful Though too much flaxseed oil will upset my tummy.

Groovy: No, no. We're not talking about allergies now. They just want to know a list of the herbs and vitamins you are taking.

GrammaJ: No...I've never been allergic to herbs.

Groovy: making eye contact Mom, we're done with the allergy part. They now want a list of what vitamins and herbs and medications you take regularly. A list. So they know if there are any contraindications for any new meds they prescribe you.

GrammaJ: I don't take any medicines! Well, except for an occasional Excedrin.

Groovy: Yes, but you DO take herbs and vitamins. They need to know which ones and how often. They need a list.

GrammaJ: A list?

Groovy: Yes, a list.

GrammaJ: Well why didn't you say so? I have a list of all my herbs and vitamins and the doses that I wrote up for Dr. Yuck. We could attach a copy to these papers.

Groovy: Where is the list, so I can go ahead and put it with these forms.

GrammaJ: blank look I...don't know. But it's here somewhere. I'll find it before the appointment.

and on and on and on...

I think they'll need to schedule GrammaJ with a loooooong first appointment!

And now, the begging begins:

Howdy folks,

My name is Groovy and I am insane. Seriously! I must be, or I would not have signed up for the Trek Across Maine yet again.

The Trek is a three day, 180 mile bike ride across the VERY HILLY state of Maine. We ride from the mountains

to the sea.

We ride no matter what the weather,

No matter what the terrain,

and no matter what our physcial condition.

photo by Michael Whitehead

The main purpose of the Trek is to raise money for the American Lung Association of Maine (ALAME).

That means - you guessed it -that Mulletman and I need to to raise funds. Each trekker is required to raise at least $500 in donations to the ALAME. If we don't, then they make us ride without any food, water or sunscreen.

Just kidding!

But I do need donations.  The money you give, whether $5 or $50 or $500 will go to help clean up the air in this state of paper mills,

Help folks quit smoking,

And find treatements and cures for lung diseases like asthma (which I have), COPD, cancer, emphysema, cystic fibrosis and more.

So here's the deal: You can donate to our Trek Across Maine accounts for the ALAME by clicking the links in my sidebar. See them? They are right at the tippy top of the page.

Mulletman and I have separate accounts because we EACH need to raise $500 or more before June 1, 2009. Please help us out by helping the ALAME.

Your deductions ARE tax deductable.

If you'd rather donate by check, you can email me at: groovyoldlady (at) roadrunner (dot) com and I'll give you a mailing address, etc.

Groovy Thanks You!

If you'd like more info on what the Trek is all about, you can check out my Groovy Trekkers blog and/or my awesome Trek Across Maine Squidoo Lens.


Dawn said...

Your mom is such a hoot!

Keetha Broyles said...

Groovy - - - would you go to my profile page and e-mail me please with your snail mail addy??? I have a special little "treat" to send to you just as soon as I get your addy!!!

I think you'll LOVE it.

Damselfly said...

A list? Why didn't you say so? LOL!

Karen said...

Oh my goodness! Your mom sounds a lot like some of my kindergartners (only with a larger vocabulary).

word verification: loptial. I'm thinking a lop-eared rabbit kind of condition...

Superwoman said...

Ugh, I'm not looking forward to when my mother reaches this age. I have the distinct feeling I will be the one helping her like you are helping your mom. I too love my mom but she'll probably be like that as well. Good luck with your suicide bike ride! lol, at least it would be a suicide bike ride for me!

Keetha Broyles said...

It's in the mail!!!!!

The anticipation builds - - - -

(Oh dear, now perhaps you will have a HUGE let-down when it arrives- - - but I'm hoping you'll have all kinds of bloggy fun with it.)

Anonymous said...

Your evil plan worked! You wore me down with a Funny Story and then Took My Money! I've pledged; good luck w/the ride:)

Ms. Kathleen said...

lol! What a funny story and yes, you are CRAZY for taking a bike ride that long... I think I would rather walk personally...Never been much for bike riding. GREAT PHOTOS! Have fun!