11 October 2008

Click, Click, Click...Fancy Bloggin is Easy!

No...Don't be shocked and surprised. Groovy is no less mediocre than she was last week. She still can't do fancy html-like blog changes. However her sweet bloggy friend, Damselfly offered to design a new groovy fall header for Groovy's Ruminations. ISN'T IT GORGEOUS!???!

THANK YOU, DAMSELFLY!!!

Damselfly took the time to design my fabulously festive fall banner and sent it to me for a preview. Then she said, "You seem to be proficient in at least some CSS code because you can change the colors on your blog. If you can add the header yourself, you can plug in the location where I've uploaded your image, and it will stay there..."

Oh, how I laughed.

Me? Proficient with codes?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Actually the only codes I know are for italics, bold, underline, and strike-through. That's it. I learned those on Squidoo 'cause they help my lenses look a tiny bit more appealing.

Nonetheless, I DO know how to change my colors. That's really easy, even for me.

Here's my detailed Groovy tutorial:

Click Customize on the top right hand corner of my blog.

Click Layout.

Click Fonts and Colors

Once you're there it's only a matter of selecting portions of your blog - Click , picking a color - Click and then refreshing your screen to critique the changes.

Groovy can Click . Yes, she can!

What about adding active links? Again, easy-peasy!

1. Copy the url of the page/site/lens then come back to your New Post page. I usually open separate windows to save confusion.

2. Highlight the word or words you want to show up as "clickable". Don't DO anything to it/them, just highlight it/them.

3. At the top of your new post - just above where you are typing is an icon that looks like 2 chain links. It just dawned on me that it also looks like a turtle with glasses...Either way, Click it.

4. Paste the URL you copied there.

5. Click OK

See how simple? Why even a middle aged, mediocre computer dork like Groovy can do it!

How 'bout photos?

I usually drag 'em to my desktop, Click that pretty photo hooey at the top of my New Post page and follow the instructions. The only catch is that the code for the pics always ends up at the beginning of my post, so I have to cut and paste them where I actually want them.

However, that works fine for me!

What Groovy cannot do: change font size, change font color, change font type - at least not on portions of a post. I can only do those changes on a wide scale basis. Groovy cannot highlight words or figure out where to find "skins", let alone USE them.

BUT, and this is huge, Groovy can now add pretty headers to her blog (provided someone else designs them!). How did Groovy achieve this level of accomplishment? It was a long, hard road and entailed so much brain-crushing study that she is now assured at least 4 extra years without Alzheimers.

:D

First Groovy Clicks Layout, Then she Clicks "Edit HTML". She kinda figures this is necessary because Damselfly used big scary words like "CSS code" which Groovy assumes are similar to HTML codes because, well, that's what the voices tell her.

There is a warning at the top of the page that says: Before editing your template, you may want to save a copy of it. Groovy has heard terrifying stories of folks who have lost all their settings whilst making changes, so Groovy quickly downloads her template onto her desktop.

5 times. Just to be safe.

Now she delves into her blog's inner soul. She sees many cryptic words and little symbols and dashes and strange iconic combos that mean absolutely nothing to her. She knows it's just a matter of copying the URL for the image that Damselfly has made somewhere into the midst of all this gibberish - probably replacing the code that means "plain, boring, ugly header", but after 3 attempts (all separated by strong coffee), she has made no progress. The gibberish all seems to be saying, "Go eat some chocolate!"

Groovy always obeys the gibberish.

Munch, munch, munch...(that's even easier than Click, Click, Click !)

Obviously Groovy needed help, but she didn't want to bother Damselfly; she'd already put enough time into this project. Instead, Groovy tapped into the vast resources of the internetherworld. ie. She googled "Put an image on my blogger header". Many, many entries appeared for her to choose from.

She tried this one and then this one and THEN this one, which told Groovy how to make a header, but NOT how to put one on her blog. The first two also feature microscopic screenshots of what Groovy was supposed to be copying, pasting, replacing, and understanding, but Groovy could not make out the teeny-weeny letters!

All of them had similar advice: Copy something, but not ALL of whatever-it-is (Groovy wasn't clear WHAT to copy), find these exact codish sorta thingies on your Blog Layout whosit, find these exact letters and symbols (Groovy never could locate them) and paste the something there.

****************************
**FLASH** <--and here would be a lovely spot for some color/font changes!
****************************

We interrupt this blog post for a strange telephone moment:

I took a break from this post to eat lunch and make a couple of phone calls. One call was to the fellow who is drumming for our worship team for the a women's conference next Saturday.

Groovy: Hi this is Groovy. May I speak to Mark, please?

Mary (Mark's wife - whom I've met exactly once...VERY briefly): I'm sorry. Mark isn't home right now. Can I take a message?

Groovy: Is this Mary?

Mary: Yes it is and you know what?

Groovy: What?

Mary: I have athlete's foot. I've never had that before...Do you know any natural treatments for that?

Groovy: Ummmmmm....

Mary: It itches and burns like CRAZY.

Groovy: You could try tea tree oil three times a day. That's a natural anti-fungal.

Mary: (overjoyed) TEA TREE OIL???? I HAVE tea tree oil! OH THANK YOU! Now...what did you want me to tell Mark?

Whew...

Now, back to our blogging technical wizardry discussion:

Finally, Groovy tries a YouTube tutorial on changing your header.

Guess what? Heh-heh-heh.

YOU DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' CODES TO CHANGE YOUR HEADER!!!!!!



All you need to do is... Click .

Groovy can DO that!

Whee-Haw!!!!!!!!!!!

Next project? Figuring out how to make the image actually fit my blog. He had to shrink his, but I'm hoping Damselfly can s-t-r-e-t-c-h mine.

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9 comments:

Marianne Arkins said...

Hey, I can code in HTML, but I can't change my own header. You're way ahead of me.

Wanna know how to change your font face and color??

groovyoldlady said...

Oooo, Marianne,

If I learn THAT it will push Alzeimers another 2.6 years down the road!

(Can I do it by CLICKING???)

Damselfly said...

Ooh, looks like I need to make your header bigger. I just used the size that mine is, but apparently not all Blogger headers are the same width. I will see what I can do ....

anno said...

Your new header is beyootiful! That you have even attempted something like this demonstrates how much more technologically advanced you are than me. And you're writing, too! I'm beginning to think that if I make it through this year, maybe I'll get to write next year. Or maybe in two more years, after m. graduates. Maybe... a girl can dream, right?

Tammy said...

It's gorgeous! :D
Since blogger made things easier for adding pictures, gadgets, ect, I found I could do the super simple stuff...but I still can't always get things the size I want, and I want to know how to do those neat scrolling things on blogs...you know, where the side pattern stays in place while you scroll down. So cool...and so beyond me. ;)

Anyway, things are looking SO spiffy here! :)

Dawn said...

I'm afraid I am way too lazy to even try - I just wait till Kristen has time!

Good for you!

Ms. Karen said...

(sniiiiiifffffff....) hmmm, smells like wet code in here.

Your blog is GORE-JUSSSSS, Groovy (nice job, Damselfly).

I can't remember how I did my header, but there is a clicky button thingy and I centered stuff and... Oh, yeah, I had to download a whatchamacallit gizmo to resize my photo, then upload to the who-ditty-hum-hum-ho before I could give it a swift click in the rear.

I tend to keep my format pretty much the same, since the last time I changed it, all my links went away and it took me a very long time to find them all again. Yes, I saved my old one, but not the right way and, ta-daaah! All gone. It was a lovely thing to discover.

Hm, I LIKE "fowajtzr" as a verification word.

Selma said...

I am so impressed. I am completely hopeless when it comes to anything code-like. It looks lovely around here. Very well done!

groovyoldlady said...

Anno: Thank You. It's not centered, but I'll live.

As far as Nano: My fiction STINKS, but I'll be making my own Marianne-like display of my characters and plot next week. C'mon girl...Anno can NaNo! (because Anno can write!)

Tammy and Dawn and Selma: Thank you. :D