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T-3 Days and Counting!
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As you may have perceived, I've been in a bit of a funk the past few days - anxious, tense, excited, uncertain, and very ambivalent about the Trek. I SO want the whole weekend to go well, but I keep running into walls and having physical problems that make me wonder if I can do it.
And then add in taking care of GrammaJ and these %%*&^)(*&_)&&####^ machines going from 6am (Yes, they are out there now, chugging and thumping away) to 6pm.
I've been a mess.
Yesterday morning I had a good cry (a long one) and spent some time in prayer and God led me to Psalm chapters 3 & 4. He reminded me that, although my trials and concerns are very small in the scope of life (I'm certainly not being tortured for my faith, we can afford to buy heating oil, and none of us have been struck with horrific diseases, right?), He does, indeed care and does indeed have everything in control. He reminded me that I need to step off this merry-go-round of self absorbance and fear and TRUST Him.
Just trust Him. I am trying to do that. Get the focus off Groovy and her abilities (or potential lack thereof) and get the focus on Christ. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) He WILL see me through! Whether I ride the whole way on my bike or in the back of a SAG vehicle, it'll be OK. No one will be mad at me and no one will be disappointed in my "performance".
Then, this morning I woke up and there was a card on the bar. Mulletman leaves for work at 5:40 am. I am usually still asleep when he goes. This time he was a sneaky guy! He actually spent money and BOUGHT a card for me to cheer me up. This is a big deal because he is NOT a card buyer. at all. period. Except for now because I've been walking in this not so groovy shade of blue and he doesn't know how to make me all better.
I tried to take a pic of the card, but the flash kept washing it out. On the cover it said, Just a word of cheer for you and inside says ...to let you know I'm here for you. and then, of course he wrote his own little note to me:
Hey Sweatie, (This is a family joke. He's never been able to spell "sweetie" correctly and it cracks me up every time - especially now, in light of all the bike riding and the, you know, SWEAT and all.) I hate seeing you sad and in a funk (that's my job). (As a rule, Mulletman is much more emotionally high maintenance than I am!) I'm praying for you. If there's something I can do to help...Let me know.
I love you,
Mulletman (Except, of course, he didn't sign it as "Mulletman". He used his real name.)
AND he put something in the card - a bar of Lindt dark chocolate. Whoo-hoo!
That's my sweatie!
And then there's my wonderful Funsocksgirl who is going through some pretty all consuming trials of her own, but who took the time to encourage me and make me smile yesterday.
Dang. I keep crying!
And poor GrammaJ, who can at times be quite difficult, has been so awesome and supportive, even though going on the Trek means we'll be leaving her all alone for a few days without full use of her hands.
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Anyhoo... I just wanted to let everyone know that I serve a loving and personal God and that I have the best, BEST family EVER.
Now you know!
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Let me please add that I also have some pretty terrific friends; Notconformed just sent me a whole box of yummy looking virtual chocolates!!!
Hurray for friends!
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7 comments:
You are in my prayers every morning - and I'll be especially praying for you over the next week as you work towards your 180 mile goal.
There is a difference between being authentic and just whining. This was being authentic and very, very real :o)
Susan
Oh, you know you are in my prayers. We'll just cry together.
Lori
I do that too - cry when I'm happy, cry when I'm sad, cry when I'm stressed, cry when I miss those little kiddoes because they're far away right now. You have had such great assurance from God and your family. PTL! And I love the misspelling! My sweatie has a hard time with certain spellings, too. We never corresponded when we were going together or I might have been a bit frustrated - English teacher mentality that I have!
Sometimes it's *so* hard to trust when you're in the middle of a bunch of bad stuff.
Groovy...OK, this post almost has ME in tears- honestly.
That is so sweet, first of all, that your husband left that card. Mine doesn't normally do things like this either, so that would have been huge for me, too!
I can also relate to your emotions...mine have been all over the board lately, too...
I'll be praying for you in the next few days!
Hugs,
~Tammy
{{{{{{{{{{Groovy}}}}}}}}}}}
(Um, no germs with this hug. I promise. I'll send those after your trek is over).
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