17 May 2007

I'm a Needy One, That's for Sure!

I got this fun Meme idea from Midnight Musings.

You have to Google your Christian name followed by the word "needs" and see what you come up with. You should, by the rules of the meme, list ten phrases. I did NOT click on any of the websites and I wouldn't suggest your doing so either.....Who knows what it might be!

My first name's needs:

Sherry needs "This". (And no, I did not click the link to find out what "this" is!)

Sherry needs instruction in phonics. (I'm a homeschooler, so "Duh"!)

Sherry needs alot of time to care for [her children].

Sherry needs to discuss the situation with her boss. ("Honey, I need alot of time to care for our children. No wait...I need a BREAK from our children!")

Sherry needs to keep this board as enjoyable as it has been. (Is an oak or a walnut finish more enjoyable?)

Sherry needs to be consumed within a few days of opening! (Vinegar, anyone?)

Sherry needs to have a control group. (A whole group to control me? Whoa!)

Sherry needs help reviewing the independent studies. (Sherry is grading papers again. sigh.)

Sherry needs to inform David that she can never again receive gifts of this sort from him. (Cut it out, David!)

Sherry needs a set of pots and pans. (Sounds reasonable to me!)


And then there's Groovyoldlady. You thought she was perfect and complete, but as it turns out...

Groovyoldlady seriously needs help! (Thanks, Tammy)

Groovyoldlady needs your help to make THIS the best lens on Squidoo.

Groovyoldlady needs a nap now.

Groovyoldlady needs your support (for theTrek Across Maine...See my sidebar and please donate to the American Lung Association. Our deadline is May 31!!!)

Groovyoldlady needs to know at a glance. (That's why she skims and speed reads!)


That was it for groovyoldlady. It appears that I am the ONLY groovyoldlady on the worldwide web. Whoo-hoo! So I tried for 5 more by googling "Groovy needs"....

Groovy needs to move to core/script. (I've been thinking that for a while now, but I was afraid to try it.)

Groovy needs a full time leader. (That's why I depend on God!)

Groovy needs to find the signature. (And the check with the signature on it!)

Groovy needs to do a better job of error handling. (Yep...)

Groovy needs a strategy for helping programmers live with ambiguities. (Groovy has a strategy. It is "Live with it, you geeks!")


YOUR Turn!!

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The Evil Voice of Doom and I Had a Little Chat Yesterday
**********************************************************************************


Groovy: There, now doesn't that look nice? I even actually pulled up the door mat and mopped under it. Time for a chocolate break!

The Evil Voice of Doom: Nice? You call that nice? You mopped up all the loose dirt, but there are still scuff marks everywhere.

Groovy: Sigh. I know, but this floor is SO big and so stinkin' white that just vacuuming and mopping it takes an hour and a half. I'm pooped!

EVoD: (Sneering. Well, she sounds likes she's sneering) Yes. And you just spent all that time and work and it still looks like crap. Come on chick. "If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well." Go get that Mr. Scrubby pad and finish what you've started.

Groovy: Yeah...OK

Girly Girl: OOOoOoooooOOOOooooo Mom. Are you going to use the Mr. Scrubby thingy to clean off the scuff marks? That's EVEN FUNNER THAN MOPPING!!!! I want to do it. Please oh please!!!!!

Groovy: (Thoughtfully) Well...

EVoD: NO! You can't let that poor innocent little 7 year-old use that scrubby pad. It's coarse and rough and abrasive. It will take the skin off her sweet little fingers. What kind of mother would do that to a child?

Groovy: (Hopefully) She could wear gloves!

EVoD: You KNOW you don't have any gloves small enough. Get to work. NOW.

Groovy: Honey, you need gloves to use such a powerful scrubby. I will put rubber gloves on the list for you.

Silly-Head: I WANT RUBBER GLOVES TOO!!!

Groovy: Rubber gloves for everyone. Now, go play so I can finish this da-, um, stupid floor before supper time.

*********************
1 Hour Later
*********************


Groovy: (Limping to put away her cleaning supplies. All this hard work has aggravated her biking injury.) There. DONE!

EVoD: Done, are you? Look at that floor! Now there are streaks of actual white in all those spots where you scrubbed so hard. Those are the only places on the floor that are truly clean. It looks horrid! Now everyone will know that you are too lazy to actually really clean the WHOLE floor and get it white, like it's supposed to be.

Groovy: (Guilted/Tempted) That scrubby really did get those spots clean...

EVoD: And...

Groovy: (Eyes starting to glaze over) And I do have a group of women coming over on Monday to learn to bake bread...

EVoD: Think how impressed they'd be. "Oooo, Groovy can bake bread AND keep her floor shockingly white!"

Groovy: (Swaying dizzily) Must...Scrub...Floor...

EVoD: Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

Groovy: (Limping back toward the cleaning supplies, she suddenly stops short.) Hey, wait a minute. I think I remember you...

EVoD: Get back to work you slovenly housekeeper!

Groovy: Yeeeees, NO! You were the voice in the other house - the other house that had a white floor!

EVoD: (Gulp)

Groovy: You were the one who convinced me to waste a whole day -a WHOLE DAY - that I had to myself and use it to scrub THAT floor white, White, WHITE. (Trembling with rage) And what good did it do me? WHAT GOOD DID IT DO ME?!!!

EVoD: Well, you DID get to listen to whole series of Joyce Meyer tapes...

Groovy: Meyers, Smeyers! You duped me into using a whole precious day of my life to scrub a floor that no one else noticed and that got dirty again within a few days.

EVoD: Nooooo, (Smiles hopefully. Well, she sounds like she smiles hopefully) I'm just trying to help you be a good homemaker...

Groovy: I'm not falling for that trick again. Out, OUT thou foul fiend!

EVoD: (Making strange gurgling noises as she disappears)

Groovy: Hey Girls! Let's read some library books and play some board games, I am DONE with this floor!

8 comments:

Penless Thoughts said...

Would we say your one GROOVY Lady. I say you are.
Susan

PEA said...

Oh Groovy...LOL...you're not only hearing voices now, you're actually having conversations with them! hehe So loved your "Sherry needs" meme...I had fun with that one too yesterday! hehe xox

Dawn said...

YOu are a funny groovy lady! I am with you on the cleaning thing - not the priority it used to be, for sure!!

Tammy said...

OK...please tell me I'm not the "Tammy" who said you seriously need help!
This was so fun! Um...can you come scrub my floor now please? I'm just swiffing there days and it definitely needs a good scrubbing...;)

Jungle Mom said...

Cool. You are groovy. There could be no other!

Jana B said...

OMW! An evil voice of Doom!!!!! Hahahaha I think when she vanished, she came over to my house... issueing commands such as "NO, you can't eat supper! YOU MUST TAKE DOWN WALLPAPER FIRST!" "NO, you can't watch Heroes in peace... you have to wash dishes during commercials, and strip more wallpaper during the show!" "NO! YOU CAN'T GO TO BED! You should knit, or crochet, or clean, or do more laundry, or...."

*sigh* EVoD... I will remember her nasty little voice, so I can recognize her next time she tries to give me sleep deprivation!

Pam said...

Way to go Groovy! I can relate to that voice of perfectionism. It has stolen many great days from me! But oh how I do love a clean floor! LOL

You are one talented writer my friend!

Karen said...

Time for Mulletman to hire a cleaning service for you! :)