31 July 2008

Sssssssssneaky Sssssssssnake

It was decided by official decree that the Groovy fam was going to go camping. We loaded up most of our gear on Sunday afternoon. Monday morning found us pulling together all the last minute goodies and then we'd be out the door.

We had just pulled the car out of the garage when suddenly Mulletman had an inspiration. He shut the car off and trotted over to our wood pile. We don't have a wood stove, but we do have a large fire ring in our yard and we keep a stack of wood near it - a very old and well seasoned stack of wood. Why in the world should we pay for firewood at a campground when we could bring our own, eh?

Mulletman had the girls lift their feet up and started stacking wood on the floorboard. He got several logs in the car and then got distracted for a few moments. The girls also got distracted and ran upstairs to give goodbye kisses to Grammy and Grampy. I just hung out in the driveway wishing we could go already.

Mulletman returned. The girls returned. Everyone piled into the car. The Groovy fam was just ready to go! Finally!

No, wait...Mulletman had noticed something about the wood. Apparently it was crawling with BUGS!!!! Little bugs, but still....Eeeewww! And they were now in our car! The Groovy fam quickly exited the car!

Mulletman started pulling the wood out of the driver's side and I pulled wood out of the other side. Suddenly he yelled, "SNAKES! Watch out for the SNAKES!"

I thought he was just fooling with the girlies. You know, Haha, I scared you, that sort of thing. Then I looked up and saw his face. My normally rather swarthy husband was white as a Maine winter and he had jumped about six feet back from the car.

"Are you serious? There was a snake in the wood?" I querried.

"Two," he gasped. Now normally, Mulletman is our protector and our hero, but the poor guy comes rather unglued when he sees a snake. I knew what those pleading eyes were saying to me.

"COOOOL! I'll catch 'em!" I quipped as I rounded the car.

My readers who've known me long and well know that I am something of a science geek. I LOVE fungus and insects and chemical reactions and symbiotic realtionships and weird latin terminology. I also love snakes. Happily, living in Maine, we have no rattlers or mambas or cobras. We don't even have water moccasins or coral snakes. We pretty much have 2 species of snake: Green grass snakes and garter snakes (which some folk call "garden" snakes), neither of which are dangerous in any way.

In fact, one day several years ago I got a call from my dear friend Tamara's husband, Rick. He had never called me before, so I knew something odd was up. Sure enough, I was right.

"Groovy. I understand you like critters and outdoorsy things."

"Ye-essss."

"Well, I need to move our woodpile."

"Ye-essss."

"I need to move it because it's too close to our kitchen door and..."

"And what, Rick?"

"It's infested with SNAKES..." His voice was as pale as Mulletman's face.

"I'll be right over."

I rounded up a couple of containers and headed over to their house. We burned the entire woodpile, I caught and contained 3 sizeable garter snakes (2-3 feet long) which I then released in my own backyard, and everyone was happy (including the girlies who got play with Rick and Tam's kids the whole time I was there.)

So anyway...I rounded our car and saw the cutest little garter snake all coiled up on the floorboard. He terrified and was playing dead, so he was easy to catch. I grabbed him and tossed him back out into our yard. Unfortunately, his compatriot was nowhere to be seen.

"Honey, I don't see another snake. Are you sure there were two?"

Mulletman was still several feet away, "Yes. The other one slithered under the front seat."

So we looked and we looked. We pulled stuff out of the car and searched thoroughly (translation: Groovy searched thoroughly while Mulletman and the girls skittered around.) No snake. Time was wasting away and we really needed to get going, so Groovy put on her best science teacher voice, "Alrighty, Mr. Snake is probably scared to death and is hiding. He's a little guy and he only eats bugs. He wouldn't even nip at your toe..." At the mention of "toe" the girls immediately started changing from flip-flops to sneakers. Sheesh!

After much assurance and persuasion, I finally managed to get everyone in the car and we drove off, though Mulletman still looked a bit edgy and grim. Our first stop was the town playground for some fun before lunch. Mulletman, who ALWAYS locks our car - especially when his very expensive Taylor guitar is inside - insisted that we actually leave the doors open while we played "in case the snake wanted to leave". Groovy tried hard to be supportive and not laugh at him, but it...was...very...hard! (snort!)

After much running, climbing, swinging, and sliding we headed into town to Subway for some nourishment. Still no snake. Perhaps he HAD slid out when the doors were opened.

We ate our leisurely lunch and piled back in the car to start for the campground. We were chatting, we were driving, we were listening to groovy music. We were NOT thinking about Mr. Snake.

And that's when I felt something tickle my right elbow.

"I think I found...Mr. SNAKE!!!" I triumphed as I grabbed him. The girlies cheered and, to his credit, Mulletman, who was looking rather ill, did not wreck the car. However, the vehicle quickly filled with a rather noisome stench; Mr. Snake had pooped on me! And it stankith! Eeeeewwww!

Even Groovy was relieved when Mulletman pulled over beside a grassy lot and she could toss Mr. Stinky Snake back to the outside world. She was even more thankful for those baby wiped she keeps in the door pouch of the car "just in case".

As they pulled out of the lot, I said, "Oh, I hope he went toward the field and NOT under the car after all that. I'd hate to run him over."

Mulletman looked at me with disgust and said, "Running him over would be a GOOD thing!"

27 July 2008

A Party! With Prizes!

That's Right, the romance review website The Long and Short of It is having a party to celebrate their anniversary online.

Better yet, they are having a MONTH LONG party.

Best of all they are giving away one prize every day in August AND giving away a $50 Amazon gift certificate at the end of the month.

Wait, what are you doing here? Go there RIGHT NOW and read all about it!

Hurry!

Now!

Don't Wait!

go, Go, GOOOOOOOO!

(and tell 'em Groovy sent ya...)

26 July 2008

Differing Perspectives




Girly-Girl With a Cold: "Oh I feel awful! My throat hurts and my nose keeps running, running, running! I hope this won't keep me from working with the goats this week! Do we have any more tissues? I can't concentrate on my math because my nose is stuffy. First it's runny, then it's stuffy; Can I have some medicine - even though it never really helps? Oh, now my head is starting to hurt. Right here, if you press on it then I get this terrible headache! I don't know if I can eat, my tummy is all weird too. Aren't there any more tissues? How about soup? I think I could manage to choke down some soup. Regular water makes my throat worse can I have fruity water instead? I think I have a fever. Do I have a fever? I just know I won't be able to breathe if I sleep in my own bed. Can I sleep on the couch?"

Silly-Head With a Cold: "My throat hurts. Oooooo, are those cookies?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

25 July 2008

They Grow Up So Fast...

Mama robin built her nest in the bush beside our kitchen door. For four weeks we watched them grow...







And now they are ready to go.



And we're dealing with an empty nest (literally).



Groovy misses her feathery babies!


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23 July 2008

In Which Groovy is Called "Sexy" and "Sultry"...By Her Husband, No Less!!!

O... You people crack me up. You also give me WAAAAY more credit than I am due. I actually had no idea whatsoever that I had posted anything until I started getting comments. My theory is that that I was getting ready to write this post and I accidentally leaned on the keyboard.

Or maybe not.

Heh-heh-heh!

Now onto the real post!

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It was the very last day of VBS and we all, workers and children alike, were pumped to the brim with adrenaline. Even an hour before the program actually started, I was already speaking in my dreadful, but tremendously fun accent.

To everyone.

All the time.

Jah? Uf course, Jah!

One woman looked at me over her glasses and commented, "Well, Dr. G, I take it it's difficult for you to step out of character outside of VBS..."

Immediately I heard a couple other folks pipe up, "She even talks like that at Walmart!" "She does it in the parking lot of the grocery store." "I heard her at the park with her kids."

I blushed slightly and admitted, "Jah, Dr. G is even talking in berry bad accent to husband at supper table! He getting berry bad headache!"

Which was true. Well, the bad accent part that is. Suddenly though, I found myself wondering if it really did bug him, because he hadn't complained or anything. He hadn't even taken any aspirin or made a run for his i-pod.

I decided to ask him: "Honey, I know I keep slipping into my horrific accent at random moments at home. Am I driving you crazy?"

"Oh no, not at all," he replied. "In fact, it's kinda like suddenly being married to a sexy, sultry Russian beauty.

Sexy?

Sultry?

Russian? (with some German/Irish/Swedish/Jewish influences?)

Beauty?

Oh yes, that was definitely me ALL WEEK LONG at VBS. See?











I am married to one sweet and precious man.

Jah? Uf course, Jah!

And he was looking pretty special during VBS too (as was my dear friend "Morphing Mary" - She got crazier and crazier looking as the week progressed)...



This is his Dang-these-songs-have-motions-and-I-don't-know-them look.


Oh well, at least the girlies were cute!

Here's Silly-Head with her "crew". She's the absolutely adorable child on the right.


And Girly-Girl!


Our Pastor? Not so cute... (But we love him anyway!)

0..

18 July 2008

A Solution For Keetha and Friends...

Click to enlarge...





If you'll visit Keetha's blog and do a bit of scrolling you'll discover that she, as a certified science geek, has conducted a completely unbiased (cough) scientific survey on whether toilet paper should come off the top of the roll or down behind. Her survey raised some very strong opposing opinions in her readership, but Keetha herself managed to stay completely detached and unemotional.

Or maybe not...See? She wrote about it here. And here and here and (so far) HERE. On vacation.

Science geeks. Sheesh!


Heh-heh-heh!

17 July 2008

Down Memory Lane (yours, not mine...)

Memory Game

Lifted this from Superwoman's blog. (And you didn't even know that Superwoman HAD a blog, did you?)

1- As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you have of Groovy old me. It doesn’t matter if you knew/know me well or not. Just let those fingers type out anything you remember. (Except for Angry Buttons. Angry may only type NICE things about me!!)

2- Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It’s actually pretty fun to see the responses (or so they tell me).

3- If you leave a memory about me, I’ll assume you’re playing the game and I’ll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don’t want to play on your blog, or if you don’t have a blog, I’ll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Heh-heh-heh...

15 July 2008

In Vich Groovy (of de berrry bad VBS accent) hass De Oatmeal Giffavay

If you comment on dis post, Groovy vill enter you in da Giffavay for de 3 gallons uf leftober prepared oatmeal from VBS. It is good for de body. Jah? Uf course Jah!


Mmmmmmm. And it iss so tasty too!


Tomorrow's lesson in VBS is on how Jesus giffs us courage. You vill NEED courage for dis giffavay, especially since Groovy vants you to pay de postage!

Jah? Uf course jah!

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Vell, OK, you can comment vidout entering the drawing...but you must tell Groovy vhy you are not vanting all dis yummy oatmeal!

14 July 2008

Several Very Short Observations Before Groovy Makes 125 Blindfolds

Hiho. Groovy here. Busy week with VBS involving LOTS of facial glitter, some seriously bad hair, foggy safety goggles, and a horrid fake accent that ranges from German/Russian to Jewish/Irish.

When Groovy teaches Bible she likes to keep your attention!

Today's VBS was so unpredictable that it required repeated applications of my life motto, "Semper Gumby!"

In case your Latin education was cut short by American Idol reruns, Semper Gumby means "Always Flexible".



My Bible assistants and I decided that VBS is a wonderful tool for preventing alzheimers because you have to revamp and do things totally differently for each group that rotates through. Thinking on your feet! Brain work galore! New synapses all over the place! Although I may haf a berry strange accent by da time I get olt!

To their credit, people at the Post Office and The Mart neither stared at nor laughed at me unless I made a joke (several jokes at the Mart. Is today a holiday? There were queues to get into the lines for even the self-checkout there!) I guess the hair and glitter just fit my groovy persona!

Saw 2 good Samaritans today (even though I'm pretty sure they weren't from Samaria): One guy saw a wayward trashcan rolling about and threatening the passing cars. He grabbed it up and anchored it, so it wouldn't cause an accident. And, in the Mart itself, a lady with many groceries - who'd already been waiting in line for a good 20 minutes (no, I'm NOT exaggerating) - let a little old man with only 2 items go ahead of her to the cashier.

Ok...the girlies want to play on the 'puter and I haffing much to do what wid all de blindfolds to make and the GALLONS of oatmeal to prepare. Groovy vishes you all a berry vonderful day! Jah? Of course, Jah!

12 July 2008

Vacation Recap and Summer Mememememememememe

Hiho. I've wracked (racked?) my brain, but there really isn't much to relate about our vacation. That doesn't mean it was boring - not by a long shot, but it was very laid back and relaxing.

First we headed to New Hampshire and took the girls to Storyland in Glen. If you show up after 3pm and pay to go in then you can come back for free the next day. So that's what we did. Girly-Girl had a rumbly tummy, but we all had fun anyway. Who knew kiddy rides could be so much fun!?!

Then we headed out to Rochester-ish, NY to visit Funsocksgirl and the J-Man. We were all in need of rest and relaxation, so most of our time was spent just "hanging out" and enjoying one another's company as we fine-tuned our private family jokes. We did take a hike and watch the fireworks together and go out to eat, but overall it was just your low key, very much needed vacation from demands and schedules.

It reminded us how much we miss our Funsocksgirl! Maybe we should move to NY...

My apologies for the lack of photos, which I am sure you were DYING to see. All photo ops will have to wait until my iMac is back. I think they're s'posed to get it to us by December or something. :-P

Here's one clip that should give you an insight into our family's sense of humor. It's even funnier when you realize that we never actually went to Niagra Falls. Watch out for the rivers of blood:



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I lifted this MeMe from Anno. Feel free to lift it from me! (However, use your OWN answers. Groovy's words would read very strangely on YOUR blog!)

This Summer...

What I'm Doing: Short term: Well, I'm thinking up witty and fascinating (cough) answers for a meme on my blog. I need to finish this quickly however, because I promised the girlies that I would snuggle with them when they arose this morning and read to them. Oh look! It's time for them to get up now.

Groovy shall return shortly (or longly if the books are good).

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Hi...I'm ba-ack! Now let's discuss Groovy's fascinating Summer plans:
-Go to GrammaJ's every other day to clean up after her cats, do housework, chop food, and visit.
-Try to keep my house somewhat cleaner than a pig sty
-Ride my bike
-Show goats at some of the local fairs
-Be "Dr. G" at VBS (Vacation Bible School)
-Have school with the girlies on every day that we possibly can
-Try to organise my brain for the upcoming schoolyear
-Camp a few times
-Help Mulletman with some household maintenance and repairs
-Deal with family crises as they arise

What I'm Listening To: The Chinese dwarf hamsters chirruping and running round and round and round and round and round and round in their exercise wheel. :-)

Actually I spend most of my Summer listening to Silly-Head and Girly-Girl pretend to be other people. Our most often heard refrain? "Remember who we are!"

What I'm Eating: Lots of fresh fruits and veggies, grilled meat, whole grains, nuts (in moderation), and an occasional glass of wine and/or dark chocolate.

What I'm Drinking: Coffee, water, iced tea, and yes, I admit it, a weekly diet cola.

What I'm Reading: The Good Husband of Zebra Drive by Alexander McCall Smith. I love, Love LOVE his books about Prescious Ramotswe, Botswanan Lady detective. I am also reading my Bible (of course!) and The Two Towers by JRR Tolkien. I also imagine that there will be several dozen children's books that will go in my eyes and come out my mouth before fall hits.

What I'm thinking about: Vacation Bible School. It starts Monday morning. THIS Monday morning and "Dr. G" is not ready yet! Wanna help me make 200+ blindfolds? TODAY??!!

What I'm watching: NOT tv! We watched a teeny bit in the hotel on our vacation and the commercials are awful. We were appalled and made liberal use of the mute button! I don't appreciate sitting down to watch family fare and then having Andy Griffith besmerged with obscenity and immodesty via the ads for shows that would be airing later in the evening.

Instead I'll be watching the babies in the robin nest outside our kitchen door. (There will be photos later when I get my own Mac back!) And I'll be watching my swiftly growing girlies as they play outside. I'll watch the brown-eyed susans and the daisies sway in the breeze. I'll watch my blueberries ripen into hazy purple globes of yumminess. And I'll watch the evil Japanese Beetles (may all the curses of the universe be upon them!) EAT my bluberries.

What I'm noticing: That I have more energy when I exercise reguarly. Who'da thunk it?

What I'd rather be doing: Hmmmm. Tough one. I guess my only real druther is that we weren't behind in school so I could have a few weeks off to just goof off. Ah well, maybe this next year won't be so packed with family emergencies! (One can only hope, eh?)

Oh...and I really have missed my garden time. I simply don't have the time and energy to spend fussing with my perennials this year. Heck, we didn't even get to pick strawberries. Sigh.

And you? What are you doing these days?

10 July 2008

Sleeping With Goats and Other Hairy Tales

The folks insisted that we bring their computer over here and use it whilst ours is being repaired. This is probably because they pretty much never use their computer and because every time one of them pops in for a visit, ole Groovy is typing away on hers. Their generosity could also be attributed to the fact that they are a couple of sweeties!

So...Goat Camp. I don't want to bore you with a blow-by-blow. This 4-H stuff can send you to snooze land pretty fast if you aren't involved yourself. Just ask my dear freind Notcon4med who actually sat through the girlies' goat show last summer at one of the fairs. She claimed she was enjoying herself, but I distinctly recall glazed eyes and drool gracing her demeanor. Good friends like that are hard to come by!

Instead, I shall give you advice so you shall be prepared should you ever have the opportunity to attend a weekend long 4-H camp.

1. Segregation is mandatory in 4-H. Goat people DO NOT associate with sheep people or dog people. Steer folks are completely ignored. Horse people are especially anathema.

2. All segregational boundaries are erased during the famous Saturday night potluck supper and during Zumba dancing.

3. Zumba dancing is a surefire way to burn off all the many desserts that you WILL eat at the potluck supper!

4. Girls and boys will self segregate of their own accord when it comes to craft time. Girls = flower faeries and friendship bracelets. Boys equal very cool and fun stilts made out of large coffee cans.

5. Be prepared for complete sleep deprivation. Campers are loud and Nubian goats are even louder. All night. Loud. Noisy. Irritating. Maaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa. Some Nubians even sound like elephants in heat. So did some of the teens...

6. The midnight storm that brings only rain to the fairgrounds (blissfull rain that shut-up the aggravating goats AND the excessively loud campers) will bring thunder and lightning to your house. Said lightning will blow the bathroom nightlight right out of the socket and across the room to shatter. It will splinter a glass lamp shade. It will fry two microwave ovens and a window air conditioner. It will blow the computer modem and router and sizzle your ethernet drive. You won't be concerned about these things because you are going to immediately repack and take off on vacation; the folks will take care of all the repairs. Except, when you finally get home from NY, you will discover that they got the modem replaced and let the electrician in to check the circuits and that's it. It is 96º F with 90% humidity and the folks are sitting there miserably sweltering because they never called anyone about the AC.

7. Serving spaghetti with meatballs whilst standing next to a vegan serving noodles is an endless source of fun!

8. Taking a shower at the fairgrounds facility is a risky endeavor. The floor is slimy wet concrete and your naked body will provide an ample feast for the plethora of starving Maine mosquitoes. AND, unless you time your shower just right, there will be no hot water.

9. The shower situation will especially laughable if the weather is hot and humid and people are handling many hairy livestock. Even more so if they are shaving said livestock and the goat hair is sticking to their sweaty bodies.

10. Plugging 8 small appliances into one outlet in an effort to cook hotdogs and popcorn and coffee etc. for your club's snack bar? Not a good idea.

11. Giving your animal hating husband a goat kid and having him run the agility obstacle course with your 7 year-old provides wonderful entertainment!

12. Goatmilk ice cream is surprisingly yummy!

13. Washing an aggravated goat with cold water from a garden hose requires an amazing amount of brawn and persistence.

14. Just because the large tent shelter (There are two of these huge structures where campers can set up their tents to help protect them from the weather) LOOKS high enough to drive your van under doeasn't mean it is. You might lose that nice roof rack...

15. Maine's 4-H Days at the Windsor Fairgrounds is probably the funnest 4-H event available. So if you get the chance to attend, please do so (unless you are one of the loathesome horse people!) and...BRING EARLPUGS!

A DISCLAIMER: Shhhh, don't tell the goat tribe, but personally, Groovy thinks dog people are fun and sheep owners are hilarious (Whaddya mean their loose AGAIN?????). She even met some very nice steer folks. She also has absolutely nothing against the horse group and secretly wishes she could be counted among them.

09 July 2008

KaPOW!

The pole at the end of our driveway was struck by lightening while we were at goat camp. Consequently Groovy's computer is in the shop getting a new ethernet port. Aaaaaaaannnnd, the shop is backlogged, so it may take a while. On a positive note, our 'puter is still under warranty so the repair will be free. :-)

Until the repairs are completed, computing shall be intermittent at best because we are borrowing the folks' computer and don't want to overstay our welcome (if ya know what I mean).

Please stay tuned!